The TSA is arguably the most annoying aspect of flying. They stand there with undeserved snootiness, looking you up and down as if you’re already a criminal harboring mass weaponry, and set their face in such a permanent scowl you wonder if real people have been replaced by blue-uniformed robots. What is most bothersome is the veiled sense of protection they use as an excuse to monitor every aspect of your being when in reality, I could fill thirty 3 oz bottles of explosive liquid in my carry-on as long as it was in a zip-lock bag.
Yes, TSA monitors it all. Even your manhood. On July 9th, Jonah Falcon was stopped and thoroughly frisked at the San Francisco International Airport when TSA suspected he was carrying a weapon in his pants. And in a way he was. Jonah has the world’s largest penis on record; 9″ flaccid, 13.5″ erect.
Jonah told reporters at the Huffington Post, “They asked me if my pockets were empty and I said yes… Another guard stopped me and asked me if I had some sort of growth.” Jonah remained good hearted about it even when a young security guard interpreted his bulge as a biological threat. Jonah laugh, “It’s my dick!” The guard gave him a pat down regardless but made sure to safely go around Jonah’s penis. “They even put some powder on my pants, probably a test for explosives. I found it amusing,” Jonah explained. He has decided from now on, he’s flying with bike shorts on, “That way, they’ll know.”
So next time you’re at the airport and you feel your blood pressure rising with annoyance, just feel grateful you don’t have an enormous penis for the TSA to monitor.